I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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