okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
