Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
