I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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