oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
