I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
