I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
