dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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