So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
