Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What a dumb baby whore.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
