ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
