playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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