I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
