The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
