I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
