I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
