this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
