..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
