And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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