Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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