dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
