where am i from again
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
