I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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