Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
