Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
