Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
