You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
