She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
