Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize