OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize