All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
