the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
