Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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