Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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