He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
