My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize