I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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