I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
