did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
