Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
