I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was born a porn star she said
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize