She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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