dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
