So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize