i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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