that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
