I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
