I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
