i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
