They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
