So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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