Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
