I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
