I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
