Christians are straight up FREAKS
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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