Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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