I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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