My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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