I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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