I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
