it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
