So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
