I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
