i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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