I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
