Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
