I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
